Who would have thought it, folks?! Despite all the odds (and in recognition of all the evens!), somehow you’ve managed to withstand a whole year – that’s 12 months, 52 weeks – AN ENTIRE ORBIT OF THE SUN, PEOPLE – of me spouting whisky-related nonsense via the pretence that (if you concentrate) you may be able to keep up to date with the industry’s comings and goings.
Since Mr and Mrs Ludlow decided that it would be an intelligent move to put an unrepentantly unqualified Geordie in charge of their newsblog (yeah, I’ve got no idea what they were thinking either), we’ve been on a veritable whirlwind of a ride, firmly establishing our weekly update as a
stalwart in the ever-competitive whisky blog world; an update which we now refer to as ‘The Gateshead Whisky News’. (Random fact, that’s the first time I’ve called it that.)
What a year it’s been. And since I didn’t get around to doing an end of the year news review type thing last month, here’re some things that might have happened;
- Jan – March: Editor rules that weather reports for Gateshead are not required. Connas suspects that Editor may be stupid.
- 9th March: Connas observes that his Editor is showing signs of midlife crisis when describes Ardbeg’s Feis Bottling as “About as groovy as an over-enthusiastic middle-aged uncle in an afro wig shaking his pants to Come On Eileen at a wedding”.
Connas sends Ed a clip of his friend Dave, by way of consolation and to prove there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
[Shudder – Ed.]
- 18th May: Editor declares Connas a hero! That’s what I get for never seeing an episode of “Friends”.
- 19th May: Connas is fired.
- May – June: Connas experiences existential crisis. Reports suggest that it may have had something to do with a hot tub on Islay.
- 6th July – Connas fired again.
- 13th July – Criticism from Ed forces Connas to look up the meaning of the word ‘interrobangs’.
- 14th September – Criticism from Ed forces Connas to look up the meaning of the term ‘P45’
- 15th September – See 19th May.
- Rest of the Year – Ed continues relentlessly with Connas’ public performance review. [To summarise briefly: Total Firings 11, including an impressive three double-firings – No-Nonsense Ed.]
- A Moment Ago – Connas attempts to redress the balance with a passive aggressive attempt at retribution in a Yearly Review blog post.
- Just Now – Connas submits Yearly Review blog post. To errrrr, the Ed… [You know where the door is, Connas – Ed.]
This Is The Serious Bit!
All joking aside, cheers to everyone that’s contributed to the news in the past year (whether they knew it or not!) It’s been fun putting my punning skills to the test! I think I’ll keep at it for a bit…
I would like to dedicate this “and Finally” to the hardest working Whisky Lounge Editor there is, my great friend, respected whisky nerd and dedicated Liverpool fan, Mr Tim Forbes:
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen you waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalk,
Through a stooooooorrrrrm…
It never rains in Gateshead” [Bah! I suppose you’re alright as well – Ed.]
See you on the blogosphere soon folks! Thanks for reading and remember to Remain Remarkable.